Cultivating Contentment

Peacefulness is sneaky. It’s a welcome surprise to notice that all is well. I know it won’t last, but that’s okay. I know it will be back. I used to believe I would, one day, attain peacefulness, happiness, contentment and that would be that. I would check that off my list and move on to perfecting my Spanish. Some things require vigilance and persistence and dedication and continuous striving. I recently reread David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech. He talks about how we have a choice every moment: to choose what we are going to think about. We can choose to whine and complain and bemoan and wallow or we can choose not to. He doesn’t claim it’s an easy choice, but it’s a choice.

I’m back!

I’m back, really and truly.

I took an unofficial, accidental break to make some changes in my life. I quit my job, moved to the west coast, and rediscovered happiness.

There was some therapy involved. Some dancing. Some hysterical laughter. Some tears.

I learned a few obvious things, not so much learned as heard for the 100^th time and thought, “Hmm, maybe there’s something to this.”

• Positive thoughts are more healthy and helpful than negative ones.
• Salads and fresh fruit and regular exercise are part of good health. Not so true about red wine.
• Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness.
• Art, whether it’s literature or music or painting or theater, is essential.

Like I said, nothing profound. But these are things that require vigilance and persistence and self-control. I have been under the misconception that happiness is often a happy accident. Not in a “Universe, pander to me!” kind of way, but in a romantic comedy spill-your-coffee-on-your-soul-mate kind of way. The truth is one must cultivate joy and good common sense to be open to the accidents. Like volunteering at organizations that are aligned with one’s goals and values.

I started this blog as a place to rant, but one of the obvious things I’ve learned, the one about positive thoughts, is that ranting can be exhausting and stressful and depressing. I plan to make this blog a virtual coffee shop. (I will most likely be sipping a latte while I write.) I want to say, “Hey, look at this.” Or “I’m curious about such-and-such trend.” Rather than, “Oh dear lord, we are all doomed!!!”

As with any good coffee house chat, be prepared for rambling and spilled coffee and the occasional non sequitur.

Please join me as I learn the oh-so-important skill of walking the line of being an informed, aware, and educated citizen while staying sane and happy.

15 Days: The NYT (again)

One of my favorite Daily Show correspondents wrote an opinion piece for the New York times.

All about ridiculousness in the name of science. I’m going to go wiggle my hips and reclaim my femininity while I fill out my absentee ballot.

Read it.

16 Days: The New York Times

There are only so many ways to say that women being able to choose when they have children is essential to women being able to live the life they want. Women’s rights are dependent on accessibility to birth control and abortion.

Let me put it another way: sex without becoming a parent!

Here’s a sobering editorial from the NY Times.

 

22 Days: I Love Cosmo!

Well, okay, I might not LOVE Cosmo…

And there’s a lot at Cosmopolitan that’s very disturbing and degrading to women.

But Cosmo did something very cool.

Check it out.

23 Days: An Article from the New Yorker

Adam Gopnik’s words on life, women, and religious freedom are brilliant. And shorter than most New Yorker articles. So take five minutes.

And read them here.

My favorite quote: “One reason we prize life is because it makes minds. And women, who have them, should be free to make up their own.”

24 Days, an Excerpt from the VP Debate

RADDATZ: I want to move on, and I want to return home for these last few questions. This debate is, indeed, historic. We have two Catholic candidates, first time, on a stage such as this. And I would like to ask you both to tell me what role your religion has played in your own personal views on abortion.

Please talk about how you came to that decision. Talk about how your religion played a part in that. And, please, this is such an emotional issue for so many people in this country…

RYAN: Sure.

RADDATZ: … please talk personally about this, if you could.

Congressman Ryan?

RYAN: I don’t see how a person can separate their public life from their private life or from their faith. Our faith informs us in everything we do. My faith informs me about how to take care of the vulnerable, of how to make sure that people have a chance in life.

RYAN: Now, you want to ask basically why I’m pro-life? It’s not simply because of my Catholic faith. That’s a factor, of course. But it’s also because of reason and science.

You know, I think about 10 1/2 years ago, my wife Janna and I went to Mercy Hospital in Janesville where I was born, for our seven week ultrasound for our firstborn child, and we saw that heartbeat. A little baby was in the shape of a bean. And to this day, we have nicknamed our firstborn child Liza, “Bean.” Now I believe that life begins at conception.

That’s why — those are the reasons why I’m pro-life. Now I understand this is a difficult issue, and I respect people who don’t agree with me on this, but the policy of a Romney administration will be to oppose abortions with the exceptions for rape, incest and life of the mother. What troubles me more is how this administration has handled all of these issues. Look at what they’re doing through Obamacare with respect to assaulting the religious liberties of this country. They’re infringing upon our first freedom, the freedom of religion, by infringing on Catholic charities, Catholic churches, Catholic hospitals.

Our church should not have to sue our federal government to maintain their religious liberties.

And with respect to abortion, the Democratic Party used to say they wanted it to be safe, legal and rare. Now they support it without restriction and with taxpayer funding. Taxpayer funding in Obamacare, taxpayer funding with foreign aid. The vice president himself went to China and said that he sympathized and wouldn’t second guess their one child policy of forced abortions and sterilizations. That to me is pretty extreme.

RADDATZ: Vice President Biden?

BIDEN: My religion defines who I am, and I’ve been a practicing Catholic my whole life. And has particularly informed my social doctrine. The Catholic social doctrine talks about taking care of those who — who can’t take care of themselves, people who need help. With regard to — with regard to abortion, I accept my church’s position on abortion as a — what we call a (inaudible) doctrine. Life begins at conception in the church’s judgment. I accept it in my personal life.

But I refuse to impose it on equally devout Christians and Muslims and Jews, and I just refuse to impose that on others, unlike my friend here, the — the congressman. I — I do not believe that we have a right to tell other people that — women they can’t control their body. It’s a decision between them and their doctor. In my view and the Supreme Court, I’m not going to interfere with that. With regard to the assault on the Catholic church, let me make it absolutely clear, no religious institution, Catholic or otherwise, including Catholic Social Services, Georgetown Hospital, Mercy Hospital, any hospital, none has to either refer contraception, none has to pay for contraception, none has to be a vehicle to get contraception in any insurance policy they provide. That is a fact.

That is a fact. Now with regard to the way in which the — we differ, my friend says that he — well I guess he accepts Governor Romney’s position now, because in the past he has argued that there was — there’s rape and forcible rape. He’s argued that in the case of rape or incest, it was still — it would be a crime to engage in having an abortion. I just fundamentally disagree with my friend.

RADDATZ: Congressman Ryan.

RYAN: All I’m saying is, if you believe that life begins at conception, that, therefore, doesn’t change the definition of life. That’s a principle. The policy of a Romney administration is to oppose abortion with exceptions for rape, incest and life of the mother.

Now, I’ve got to take issue with the Catholic church and religious liberty.

BIDEN: You have on the issue…

(CROSSTALK)

RYAN: … why would they keep — why would they keep suing you? It’s a distinction without a difference.

RADDATZ: I want to go back to the abortion question here. If the Romney-Ryan ticket is elected, should those who believe that abortion should remain legal be worried?

RYAN: We don’t think that unelected judges should make this decision; that people through their elected representatives in reaching a consensus in society through the democratic process should make this determination.

BIDEN: The court — the next president will get one or two Supreme Court nominees. That’s how close Roe v. Wade is. Just ask yourself, with Robert Bork being the chief adviser on the court for — for Mr. Romney, who do you think he’s likely to appoint? Do you think he’s likely to appoint someone like Scalia or someone else on the court far right that would outlaw (inaudible) — outlaw abortion? I suspect that would happen.

I guarantee you, that will not happen. We picked two people. We pick people who are open-minded. They’ve been good justices. So keep an eye on the Supreme Court…

RYAN: Was there a litmus test on them?

BIDEN: There was no litmus test. We picked people who had an open mind; did not come with an agenda.